


Do you need me to hold you?

by cptnB



Category: Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Billy mourns for Tommy, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Cuddlefucking, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Graphic Description of Corpses, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Smut, Minor Character Death, Sleepy Cuddles, Soulmates, Teddy discovers his sexuality, Tommy dies in a car accident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:41:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25028683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cptnB/pseuds/cptnB
Summary: Billy mourns for his brother and Teddy provides comfort in ways that neither expected.WARNING: Death and mild depictions of blood/injury, use caution if you're sensitive to those topics.
Relationships: Teddy Altman/Billy Kaplan
Kudos: 26





	Do you need me to hold you?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this with Roslyn by Bon Iver on loop, I definitely recommend listening to it while you read! Also, this is my first fic, let me know what you think!

Billy was curled up in his bed, facing the window. He watched the raindrops race down the glass against the grey-blue background that was the evening sky. Just as the rain rolled down the window, a tear rolled down his cheek. Teddy’s bed was empty. He was probably out for groceries. Billy and Teddy shared a tiny little apartment style dorm. There was a kitchen, a living room, a bathroom, and a bedroom with two beds and two desks.

***

It had all happened so quickly. The busy streets of New York were dangerous, but you never truly realize how vulnerable you are until something happens. One minute, he and his brother were crossing the road. Suddenly, Tommy was gone. Screams erupted. Tommy was sprawled out on the ground, unconscious, blood pooling, and Billy’s entire body had gone cold. 

What had just happened? Tommy was there. Then Tommy was gone. Just like that. Still cold, Billy heard sirens. He didn’t remember riding in the ambulance or getting to the emergency room. 

Teddy did, though. Billy had instinctively called Teddy, not knowing what else to do. When Teddy rushed into the hospital, his jacket draped over his forearm, he had seen Billy’s empty eyes. His skin was cold to the touch. Teddy, was about a head taller and two or three times as built, so he wrapped his arms around his friend. Teddy pressed Billy’s head into his strong chest and squeezed. Teddy had never held a boy like this, but it felt right, like it was his place to protect Billy. Teddy heard a noise, something akin to a whimper or a sob. He’d never seen Billy cry, and he’d never felt this shared heartache. It was like he could feel what Billy was feeling. Or was he feeling something all on his own? Was he grieving not for Tommy but Billy’s pain? It didn’t matter. Billy pulled away and looked up at Teddy’s eyes, his hands still on Teddy’s torso. For a moment, Teddy could’ve sworn that Billy’s eyes flashed a vibrant blue, but it was only his imagination. Teddy didn’t know what to say. It was futile to ask if Billy was okay when he clearly wasn’t. So he spoke the only truth that. Seemed to matter in the moment. 

“I’ve got your back, Billy,” he said, his voice almost a whisper yet still strong and intense. “I know,” Billy replied, his voice hoarse. Teddy draped his jacket over Billy’s shoulders. Billy was swimming in the big jacket, but he felt safe somehow.

Suddenly, a woman in scrubs stepped through the double doors that Billy had been staring so intently at when Teddy had arrived. Teddy turned to her, holding his arm across Billy’s shoulders, pulling him in tight. Both boys were facing the doctor, but only Teddy was listening. The world had gone mute for Billy. He already knew what she was saying. Billy had seen Tommy’s body, the way his limbs were twisted at unnatural angles, and the way blood had pooled around him. No-one could’ve survived that. The irony of it all was that Tommy had been hit by a speeding car. Speed, that was Tommy’s childhood nickname. When Billy and Tommy had both committed to the same college, Tommy had been invited to the Track and Field team. He’d been the fastest runner Billy knew, but this time he wasn’t fast enough. 

Billy felt Teddy guiding him back to their dorm. Had they walked? Or had they taken the subway? Billy couldn’t remember. He just remembered the hot water when he got into the shower, running down his back. He remembered getting into bed, and sleeping a lonely, dreamless slumber. He had awoken only to go back to sleep. Several times, he’d heard Teddy calling out to him, but he couldn’t make out what Teddy was saying. 

***

Billy woke up on Sunday afternoon to the sound of thunder. He was curled up in his bed, facing the window. A tear rolled down his cheek.

He heard the door unlock. He felt like a wreck, and he felt embarrassed. He rolled over so his face was hidden. He heard Teddy’s keys settle on the table, then he heard Teddy’s footsteps make their way into the bedroom, slowly. 

Billy and Teddy had been roommates for about a semester and a half. They sometimes managed to get on each others nerves, but in truth they felt like they’d known each other all their lives. Teddy was Billy’s first “straight-guy friend,” and Billy was Teddy’s first “gay-guy friend,” and they were like two peas in a pod. Only, the last few days, Billy hadn’t said a word to Teddy. Whenever Teddy tried to say anything, Teddy felt as if he was talking to a wall.

The last few days had been hard on Teddy. His felt pain in his heart. He had grown to love Billy. He felt connected to him, more than a roommate would be with another roommate, more than he’d ever felt with a girl. He’d never felt this way about a girl, let alone a boy. He wanted to reach out and touch Billy; hold him the way he’d held him in the hospital. 

Was it madness that came over him then? Or was it love? Perhaps both.

He gazed upon Billy, curled up like a scared little boy. He had every right to be. Billy had just lost his twin brother. Teddy wanted to find a way to comfort Billy. 

Teddy saw his hand reach for Billy’s shoulder. He heard his voice ask softly, “Billy?” Billy turned his head, eyes puffy with sleep and tears.

Billy looked so scared. 

“Do you need me to hold you?”

Billy didn’t say anything, but his face told Teddy everything he needed to know.

Billy’s heart was racing. He was feeling so many things at once. Yes, he was grieving, but Teddy was offering him solace in his arms. In truth, Billy had been developing feelings for Teddy for a long time. Billy felt connected to Teddy in a way that he’d never felt with anyone before. But Teddy was straight, right? Billy had come to terms with the fact that he’d never be anything more than a close friend to Teddy. And perhaps this was just that, or perhaps this was more.

Teddy felt butterflies in his stomach. He was nervous, for he’d never held a boy the way he intended to hold Billy in that moment. Yet, he was also calm. This was his place, protecting this boy. Somehow Teddy knew it, and he felt that Billy knew it as well. Why else did Billy look at him that way? With those longing eyes?

Teddy slid off his shoes, the soles wet with the rain he’d encounter just before he’d made it back to their building. He took his shirt off, not noticing Billy watching bare his skin for the thousandth time. Billy had spent many yearning moments watching Teddy change. He felt familiar with Teddy’s large pecs, and the blonde hair that spread across Teddy’s chest, funneling down to his ab muscles, across his belly button and down into his crotch. Teddy dropped his shirt on the floor.

He lifted the covers, and settled in, pulling Billy in close. As if it were something they’d done a million times before, they settled together. Billy rested his head on Teddy’s bare chest, just under Teddy’s chin. He curled one of his legs around one of Teddy’s. Teddy’s arms wrapped around Billy. They were quiet for a moment.

Teddy’s chest rose and fell steadily, rhythmically. Billy closed his eyes. What was he feeling? Was it sorrow, for his lost brother? Or was it joy, for the man he’d developed such strong feelings toward holding him? Why was the world so cruel as to take one loved one away and give him another? It didn’t matter. Despite his long slumber, he felt drained.

Teddy could almost feel the wheels in Billy’s head turning. He planted a firm kiss on Billy’s head, holding his lips and nose to Billy’s hair for a moment. That was enough to push Billy over the edge. He held Teddy’s large body as tight as he could, and bawled. He cried into Teddy’s chest, shuddering with emotion, overcome with pain and sorrow. He had no words, only grief. He cried until he had no tears left to cry, and Teddy stayed, breathing, chest rising and falling. Something in Teddy’s breathing soothed Billy.

He looked up into Teddy’s eyes,

“Teddy I—,“ he stuttered, “I love you.”

“I know. I love you too Billy”

One of Teddy’s hands came to Billy’s chin, aiming Billy’s face towards Teddy’s. Teddy’s face drew closer to Billy’s. Their lips brushed for a moment, hesitant at first. Then their lips pressed together. Their kiss grew passionate. Billy lifted his body, settling onto his knees, straddling Teddy’s strong body. Teddy sat up, his big rough hands gently finding their way into Billy’s shirt and up his back. Slowly, Teddy pulled Billy’s shirt up and over his head, revealing Billy’s slender build.

Their hearts were both pounding. Teddy was feeling a man’s body against his for the first time, and Billy was feeling Teddy’s muscular shoulders as his arms wrapped around Teddy’s thick neck. Both boys knew they were where they belonged, in each other’s arms.

Teddy ran his hands down to Billy’s butt, feeling Billy’s soft boxers. Teddy’s breathing became deeper, as if he was trying to remember Billy’s scent forever. Billy’s hands made their way down to Teddy’s jeans, unbuckling the belt, then unzipping them, and then pulling them down just enough to reveal Teddy’s manhood. He grabbed a condom and lube from. The drawer in his night stand and prepared Teddy. Teddy leaned back against a pillow resting on the headboard of Billy’s bed. Billy pulled down his boxers while Teddy planted soft kisses down Billy’s neck and across his shoulders. Teddy’s member stood tall. Billy put a hand on Teddy’s large shoulder and guided Teddy inside of himself.

It was a beautiful moment. To people, bound at the soul, revealing themselves to each other for the first time. Teddy finished what was the most glorious experience he’d ever, then took Billy into his mouth for more. This didn’t feel like the sex he’d had before. He didn’t feel flesh alone, it was flesh and soul. Like the universe had out the two of them in this place to be with one another. Billy finished with an ecstatic whimper. 

The pair looked into each other’s eyes. Neither said a word. Their bodies told the whole story. They climbed out of Billy’s bed and entered the shower, washing the sweat and semen off of each other’s bodies. Billy scrubbed Teddy’s broad back and shoulders, and Teddy ran his hands through Billy’s dark hair. They dried off and put on their boxers, Billy putting on one of Teddy’s large shirts, then settled into Teddy’s bed, in each other’s arms. 

There they slept, in mutual solace. Their lives had just begun. Billy felt ready to move forward, knowing that he’d have Teddy at his side.


End file.
